So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
