first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
