Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
