i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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