i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
He better not be in your backpack
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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