Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
