We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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