I want to have your abortion
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
