please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
