i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
