Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
