I am spending my child support on dildos
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
