i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
