Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
