who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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