I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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