i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
