for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
