So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
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