don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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