i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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