I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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