their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
