i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
