the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
