How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
there is glitter all over my balls
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
