It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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