Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
