Only a mothe r could love this liver
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
