Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
