How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize
