he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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