i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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