Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
