who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
