I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
