is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
