idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
