I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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