butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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