I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Randomize