wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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