Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
