come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Randomize
