I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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