I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Randomize
