Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
even my farts smell like vagina
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
