Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
