k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
being pregnant is like rehab
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
