This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
