I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Randomize
