So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
