Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
im holly from the hills drunk
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
